Ok guys, I have a problem.. So… There is this guy, well to be honest, there are 3 of them.. One of them is an ex, one of them is a potential, and the third is me getting my hopes up way too high. I guess I should probably start with the ex-boyfriend, whom we will call George. George and I met online, and immediately hit it off. We talked for a couple months and then started dating, two weeks later, shit went down, and I decided it was best for the both of us if we stopped seeing each other. I still like him, but I know he has to get his shit together before he will be ready for a relationship, and I am pretty sure that will take months, if not years. Also, he thinks he knows what I am thinking all the time, which weirds me out a little. I mean, I get that he likes the psychological part of human life, but I am most definitely NOT like other people, and I don’t like when others try to read me. I am not a book. I really like him, but I guess it was just the wrong time.
The second guy is someone I met through a group of friends, whom we will call Ron. The only thing I will ever really have with him is a really good friends with benefits relationship. And I guess that can be ok. I will probably enjoy the companionship, especially without the commitment. After my one serious relationship, I am in no hurry to rush into anything. And who knows, maybe we are both wrong, and it’ll turn into something else, but I highly doubt it.
And the third guy I met in biology class, we will call him… Uhm…. James! Yea, so he is really fun to talk to, and I kinda like him.. Not much more to tell really…
I lied, there are 4.. The last we will call Tom, as in Tom Riddle. Voldemort, as it were. (And yes, I have named all these boys after Harry Potter characters, I do that a lot.) “Neither can live while the other survives.” I guess that is kinda how him and I have worked all these years. It’s a give take thing; I give, he takes. He comes into my life, destroys everything, leaves, and then does it all over again when I finally have my shit together again. I have to admit, it’s kinda my fault too, but I am not the one waving the white flag of friendship all the time. He says he cares, and most of the time, I believe him.. But not this time. I know he is lying to me. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me again, shame on me. I am done being broken, and I am done being naive. If I have to say goodbye, so be it, but I will NOT be played as a simple little chit.
Now that I have ranted that out, I must confess I am freaking out because he is texting me, and I don’t have the willpower to ignore it. Kinda like the imperious curse, he can make me do all kinds of stupid shit. I HATE him, but more importantly, I hate that I am such a sucker when it comes to us and our friendship. Maybe that’s why he is Voldemort.. But wouldn’t that make me Bellatrix? I mean, I practically lick his boots with a flick of his hand. He has a way with words that makes him dangerous, like the vipers in the deserts of Africa. Cleo and the viper… For those of you laughing at my historical reference there, kudos to you, you are awesome. For the rest of you, study Egyptian history, you’ll get it eventually. Anyway, I have gotta stop before I freak for real. Peace! ❤